Changing of the guard

I've been a part of MTG from nearly the beginning. I joined in early September of 2011 and was made an admin by the end of the month. Thanks to being unemployed at the time, I spend nearly all of my waking hours on the server, pulling 12 and 16 hour shifts on-duty, sleeping for a bit, and then signing on to do it all over again.

I became head admin in the beginning of December of the same year and somewhere in there I also joined the dev team. The amount of work and responsibilities I had doubled or tripled with these decisions but I knew what I was getting into and I accepted it. During that time the idea of head admin slowly shifted from "watch over the admin" to "guiding force of the server", partly because of how people perceived the position and partly because that's how I treated it. It went from constant conversations with Kevin about the smallest of changes to brief chats about the largest of changes and before long I simply acted with the experience and authority earned.

I'm not going to sit here and say that every decision has been received with joy from the players and I'm also not going to say that every decision was right. Mistakes were made, lessons were learned, the server moved on. I am going to say, however, that every decision was made with only the progress and betterment of the server in mind and in heart.

We're nearly into June. Six months of being head admin, ten months of being an admin, and I gotta tell ya... I'm tired.

On a selfish level, I'm tired of being the one that everybody, both player and admin, comes to for answers or decisions; I'm not angry at those people for coming to me, that's the way the job works, but it does tend to become wearying after a while. I'm always "on", if you will, rarely relaxed and at any given point during the day or the night I can expect messages via in-game PM, in-game channels, forum PM, Twitter, Skype, Steam, etc. It'd be nice to just have some time off and some time to myself without wondering and worrying about what's going on.

On a personal level, I'm tired of being yelled at, cursed at, villified, insulted, called out and reported by players who have nothing better to than shout at authority figures or are butthurt because they got punished in some way. I knew that being head admin was going to be a thankless job, but goddamn, I didn't think it would go to these levels. And, frankly, it shouldn't. I put myself out there, I put the admin team out there, I put the dev team out there, every day and in every way, trying to make the server a better place for everybody involved, trying to balance out Group A's needs against Group B's needs, making sure that the server is kept fresh and interesting while also keeping it safe and secure, but the amount of bullshit and whining and *****ing and complaining I get is ridiculous.

But, in the end, nobody but me cares about any of that. It's far easier to shout than to understand and it's far easier to jeer from the peanut gallery than to think rationally. Enjoy your bread and circuses.

"WTF IS RICKLES GOING ON ABOUT?!!?" Yeah, yeah.

I first started talking with Kevin about stepping down from the head admin position in, oh, probably February or March. We've probably had the same conversation at least once a month since then. I always knew that I woudldn't be head admin forever, nobody could be and keep their sanity, so slowly but surely I've been laying out plans for a successor and my exit strategy. If you're on the admin team, or have half a brain, you've probably figured out who it is by this point.

I also spent a lot of time thinking about the head admin position itself. Should it be the way it is? Maybe it's not the position itself that has issues, but the way I personally run with it? It's possible that I'm too hands-on, it's possible that I manage the players and the server in a too direct way, I'm not afraid to say that the next head admin or the one after that may do things differently. And who knows, maybe people will like that style of head admin better? In the end, this was the way I decided to handle things, handle the position, and I make no apologies for it.

"OMG SHUT UP ALREADY AND GET TO THE POINT!!!" Yeah, yeah.

- Effective immediately, Haze is head admin. He's shown himself responsible and worthy of the position in every way and I have every bit of confidence in him. I'll work with him to get the final bits of setup done and then he's in charge.

- Kevin has been gracious enough to allow me to join the 1338 rank. Hopefully it's because I've earned it and not because I threatened to eat his face.

- I'm stepping back from frontlines dev work for a bit. I'm still going to be working on the script, and working on the mythical "new script", but I'm not going to be doing any of the "OMG IT NEEDS TO BE FIXED RIGHT NOW" work or custom mapping or anything day-to-day.

- I'm not quitting MTG. Sorry to disappoint the haters. I may be around a bit less for a while as I enjoy a much deserved break, but this isn't a farewell or see you later post. Hopefully I can get back into RP instead of constantly handling... well, everything.

"FFS THIS POST IS TOO LONG!!!!!11" Shut up.

To Kevin, thank you so much for this opportunity, I hope I did you and the position proud.
To the admin team, you're all amazing and I'm thankful for every bit of work you've done for me and for the team and for the server.
To the server, you're awesome and I'll like you even more when you stop complaining at me for every small thing.
To the haters, get ****ed.